Feminist Friendships and Accountability

I have been thinking about feminist friendships and the politics of accountability over the last month. Part of this reflection was catalysed by sitting with the three-part conversation I recorded with Sarah Mukasa for Runway to Feminist Justice. Spoiler alert: I speak about the third and final episode that is yet to be published.

I consider Sarah Mukasa a senior political sister. The first time I met Sarah was 17 years ago in the context of a meeting I was organising and needed to mobilise collaborators for. I was a young professional feminist in my twenties managing a regional programme on gender and conflict. Many an INGO professional feminist will know the pressures that emanate from starting new jobs, being relatively unknown in the sector and the politics of convening. Sarah was among the people who showed up with money and physical presence, with no questions asked about who I was. She believed in what we were doing and supported the work.

There was something in this experience that spoke to me about the importance of building political connections across generations that is based on your experience of people, the possibilities that individuals present and more importantly the knowledge transfer she knew she would lend to the process by showing up. Every so often when I have navigated complex professional issues, it is to Sarah among others I have turned for wisdom. In making time, she has not been afraid to say Awino, perhaps you also need to reflect on how X action may have facilitated this. I have listened because I know it comes from a place of accountability.

This intergenerational friendship has revealed the premium placed on political responsibility. Our job is not to become an uncritical choir for our political comrades and friends. Now, it is important that we do not spend time listening to every unsubstantiated story that emerges in movements and workspaces. However, when there is sufficient evidence, we need to have comrades who can say Awino let us meet behind the tent as Kenyans say. Being “called in”, is never a pleasant exercise, but it is a less painful activity when done by people you know care for you. It demands that we step into that foundational feminist principle of self-reflexivity.

Political Responsibility and Movement Support

In episode three of my legacy conversation with Sarah Mukasa she spoke powerfully about navigating political relationships responsibly. To paraphrase, “we may not get on as individuals but what I will not do is slander someone I know is capable of doing the work. If you are the best person for the job, I will recommend you.”

Inherent in these remarks was a separation between personal relationships and conflict which occurs everywhere and the importance of the political battle ahead of us. There is an unspoken distinction here. Where personal harm has been caused, there is a different layer of accountability that is required. No one should be expected to exercise grace to someone who has caused harm.

Sarah’s remarks above were more prescient because she was reflecting on the transient power that those who work in foundations have and how that power must be used responsibly in service of movements. Institutional roles should not be used to settle personal scores — real or imagined. If you destroy the very movements from which your legitimacy emanates, where do you return when the contract at the large private foundation eventually ends? My political comrade Sophie Otiende asks who roots you? What knowledge, people and communities ground you? Where do you remain present? Thandiswa Mazwai in speaking to me about her song Nizalwa Ngobani says who are your people? Where do you come from?

Silence, Power and Accountability

For those who are on the receiving end of resources, we know that grant making is as much about the idea, the institution that delivers it and relationships. It is this knowledge that relationships matter where grant making is concerned that leads to a veil of silence. Who wants to be known as the applicant who has taken too seriously the meaning of decolonising philanthropy and therefore exercises candour in their relationships with grant makers?

I believe there is room to hold a range of productive tensions at the same time and work through them based on the principle of mutual responsibility. How do we have the conversation about mutual accountability and responsibility with our comrades who are navigating complex Northern institutions and the perceived transgressions to movements that “made them” whilst holding firm to the principle of accountability required of organisations and movements? How do we hold these productive tensions in ways that produce reflexive outcomes for the feminist futures we want to build?

There is a feminist ethics of care demanded of us in this moment particularly when we are reflecting on funding cuts for gender equality by the Dutch government and Trump 2.0’s actions. These are difficult but necessary conversations and positionality lies at the core.

Listen to episode one and two of the legacy discussion on Runway to Feminist Justice podcast. Look out for episode 3 by following the Runway to Feminist Justice on Spotify and Apple.